Smokin' Poinsettia Leaves- The True Church

So I'm at a budget meeting last night.  Everyone but me is over 60.  We're having a conversation about whether or not we pick up the exact number of poinsettias that were ordered because sometimes those who buy the plants in honor/memory of a loved one, don't actually take them home from church after Christmas.  Then we're left with dead, crumbling plants in the sanctuary.  This is important to discuss, of course, because it will as you know, help bring about the Kingdom of God...

 

ANYWAY, so the 75 year-old starts in about how it's important that everyone who orders a plant gets theirs-- BECAUSE TWO WEEKS AFTER YOU BRING THEM HOME THEY DIE AND THEN YOU CAN SMOKE THEIR LEAVES!  And how we wouldn't want to deprive anyone of that!  Then the 63 year-old and the 75 year-old (this is Dave and Ike, for those of you who want to know..) start debating the best way to roll the cigs.

 

Yeah, these people are my sheep.  And yes, I do believe they are the True Church.  (And does it really matter if they're kidding?!)

I Ain’t Playin’ No More

Anyone else tired of playing church? Last week I decided that I ain’t gunna ‘play’ church no more.

This sounds really big on my part. We’ll see if I’ve got it to follow through. Church structure, hierarchy, committees, strategic plans, forms—AARRRRRRG! So when do we actually get around to BEING the church?! You know, CRAZY LOVE, RADICAL PASSION, and BEING NUTS ABOUT JESUS?

I’ve been at Trinity eight years now. Accomplished a lot—from 3 kids to 30 in Sunday School, a $300,000 building project, over a 100 new members (and about the same number having moved on…). Blah, blah, blah.

But when do we burn with fire? When does the crazy passion show up? When do we get sick of spending our time trying to unsuccessfully fill our vacant ministry or leadership positions, rather than encouraging people just go wild for God’s love for the world?!

Maybe it’s not about Trinity Church or the United Methodist Church, but about me. (Sorry you have to suffer being in my head right now).

Maybe it’s time that I—the pastor-- am about crazy love, radical passion, and nuts about Jesus…And then I AM, they CAN, and I’m not a hypocrite in my accusations…

Whoah, dude.

Lent

Wow. Tacky.

Lent is here, which really means Easter is here—at least for the big Christian outlets like Oriental Trading.

Yes, really.

You, too, can buy cheap junk from China (those faithless communists) to fill your home and church in celebration the holiest of Christian holidays.

Here are my favorite selections:

• Personalized Religious Mint Tins. Fat free. Free personalization. (Cuz faith should be all about the individual and not about anybody else).
• "He Lives" Cross-Shaped Lollipops. 2 inch pops are on a 4 ½ plastic stick. (This is just gross. Have we forgotten that Jesus died on a big stick?)
• Frosted Lamb of God Suckers. (No, I'm not kidding).
• Chocolate Candy Crosses. A nice treat for family and friends. (REALLY?! Cuz crucifixion is just too good to keep for yourself, that you MUST share!)
• Easter Inspirational Paddleball Games (Now you, too, can have your kids whacking each other with another tool sanctioned by the Church).
• Mini "He Lives!" Bubble Bottles. When kids memorize Bible verses, reward them with bottles of bubbles! (Because there's never enough landfill material made by cheap labor!)
• Camouflage Easter Eggs (Yes, army-camo-- wouldn't want to forget your militarization even for one day!)

"Oriental Trading…A Celebration of Faith" (No, it REALLY says that).