Lent

Wow. Tacky.

Lent is here, which really means Easter is here—at least for the big Christian outlets like Oriental Trading.

Yes, really.

You, too, can buy cheap junk from China (those faithless communists) to fill your home and church in celebration the holiest of Christian holidays.

Here are my favorite selections:

• Personalized Religious Mint Tins. Fat free. Free personalization. (Cuz faith should be all about the individual and not about anybody else).
• "He Lives" Cross-Shaped Lollipops. 2 inch pops are on a 4 ½ plastic stick. (This is just gross. Have we forgotten that Jesus died on a big stick?)
• Frosted Lamb of God Suckers. (No, I'm not kidding).
• Chocolate Candy Crosses. A nice treat for family and friends. (REALLY?! Cuz crucifixion is just too good to keep for yourself, that you MUST share!)
• Easter Inspirational Paddleball Games (Now you, too, can have your kids whacking each other with another tool sanctioned by the Church).
• Mini "He Lives!" Bubble Bottles. When kids memorize Bible verses, reward them with bottles of bubbles! (Because there's never enough landfill material made by cheap labor!)
• Camouflage Easter Eggs (Yes, army-camo-- wouldn't want to forget your militarization even for one day!)

"Oriental Trading…A Celebration of Faith" (No, it REALLY says that).