Why I Swear

I swear.

I know that’s not so cool with some folks. Some might not like it because it’s not "proper." Others find themselves in a generation where it just wasn’t (and still isn’t) ok. Others think there’s something prohibiting it in the Ten Commandments (wrong). Then there are those who are horrified by the thought that a pastor would say such things (well, here I am…oops?!).

So why do I swear? I think I swear because I don’t have tattoos. I think I swear because I don’t have piercings or wear bikinis. I think I swear to express myself. You know, to be me. I’m not into that other stuff; but for some reason I’m into swearing.

You could say that it’s to separate myself from the crowd—not in a sense that I have to prove something—but as a way to distinguish myself. It could also be my sorry attempt at pushing the envelope, trying to be edgy.

I guess I’m not even that cool to try to be cool. My mouth just flies sometimes and unless in inappropriate settings, I haven’t seen the need to control it. It’s my way to be real. Oh, yeah. And I’m human.

About three years ago I was leading a camping weekend out at one of our United Methodist camps. A new member of the church sat down with me on the dock and the two of us had a great, deep conversation about church, pastors, denominations and all the "stuff" that we’ve seen or put up with over the years. It only seemed natural to come up with some four-lettered words describing how pastors or priests have abused, churches have failed, and denominations don’t get it.

This new member halted our conversation. "Did you just say what I think you said?" he asked. Feeling pretty comfortable from our talk and the vibes I got from the guy, I said "Yeah…!" and shared with him my thoughts about getting real and being real as a person and Christian (expressions, thoughts, language and all!)—and yes, even as clergy.

"A pastor that swears--- that is so refreshing!" he said. Then he demonstrated his own command on the language with some new vocabulary and we continued our talk without holding back or feeling constricted.

So let’s be clear. I don’t swear around little kids or grandmas or drop the F-bomb in worship. But I do believe in being real, expressing myself in appropriate times and places in a way that people can relate to and in a way they’d even use themselves. I believe that we get too caught up in the little stuff (ever noticed how short those words are?) and lose sight of the big stuff. Like Jesus. Like God. And like being faithful. Those are the things that I’ll do my best not to disrespect.

In thinking about this blog, I wrote a former professor of mine from seminary, Bruce Birch—he’s the Dean at Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, DC. He was the one who taught us that "Do not take thy Lord’s name in vain" had nothing to do about swearing (which as a 23 year-old who liked to swear thought was the coolest thing she’d ever learned in higher ed).

Below you can see his response to my question about "fowl language." I made a little mistake with spelling—should have been "foul" language… Anyway—you’ll enjoy his response—he’s the best and funniest teacher I ever had (even at times when it’s at my own expense…!).

The Ten Commandments and Language
The Ten Commandments given to Moses lay down important guidelines for our lives that are still relevant today. Of course, the difference between ancient times and our own means that some translation and interpretation is necessary. A good example of this is the third commandment "You shall not take the Lord's name in vain." Traditionally this has been taken to be a commandment to forbid swearing. Thus, it would be a commandment opposed to "foul" language. Considerable confusion has been cast over the matter, however, by the recent article published by Prof. Sidney A. Dumbcluck. He reminded readers of the overwhelmingly rural background of the Old Testament and proposed that this commandment was really intended to prohibit "fowl" language. The chicken, as were many other animals, was revered by the Canaanites. Of course, the "fowl" image of such birds was forbidden as an object of worship. This makes the third commandment a direct outgrowth of the second commandment forbidding idolatry. It should be read "You shall not use the Lord's name in a "vane," referring to the use of the rooster image in eathervanes. Such association of the Lord's name with a "fowl" image is strictly forbidden. Now as clever as Prof. Dumbcluck's hypothesis seems, it is entirely wrongheaded and incorrect. The commandment does indeed have to do with "foul" language rather than "fowl" language, but both Prof. Dumbcluck and the traditional interpreters have missed an important hermeneutical clue. The entire Bible begins with a reference to baseball--"In the big inning..." Gen. 1:1a. Thus, the commandment has to do with our response when life gives us a sweet pitch right down the center of the plate and the best we can do is "foul" it off. We miss our chance at hitting the home run grooved for us by God and hoped for by all those family members and parishioners rooting for our leadership at the plate. Of course, this often leads to "foul" language of the coarser variety so swearing and "fouled" pitches are indeed, at times, related. The Decalogue ("log" here may refer to a baseball bat, thus, "ten bats"--God's grace is more generous than the three strikes usually allowed) is still clearly relevant to our modern lives as we attempt to follow God's will for our lives. There is no need for "foul" language when we "foul" the opportunities given to us by God. Our efforts need not be in "vain" if we stand in and boldly take our swings, assuming that we resist the temptation to chicken out.
Have a great
day!
Bruce